Stage three of five
When it goes wrong
Something has broken and you are angry, frightened or both. Nearly every message in this subject that costs somebody money was written in the first ten minutes after a shock.
Nexus market mirrors
nexusb2l7fmqnefwphyy7m5zjhlkytlbo7qbb5lu5dlczr3azgii2gyd.onionnexusma2iegzo7atzwbrwxhcdopyri3vare2twibldnlc3txqjdeb5yd.onionnexusabcdpvtnivv6owtqjkvd22k5x3hlpofkgjqjmgzltlde6mwe2qd.onionPublished as supplied. Nothing here is monitored, so this is not a claim that any of them opens right now.
The eight messages
- Reporting a short orderLess arrived than was paid for, and the reply depends on what you send first
- Reporting qualityThe hardest thing to put into writing without it becoming an opinion
- Reporting a lost parcelNothing arrived, nobody is necessarily at fault, and the message should say so
- Asking for a partial refundName the number yourself or somebody else will name a smaller one
- Refusing to pay outside escrowOne flat sentence, decided long before you need it
- Refusing to release earlyA polite request for the one click nobody can reverse
- Answering fake supportThe channel answers the question before you read a word
- Reporting a vendorWritten for a stranger who has none of your context
What is different about this stage
Up to now a message was a request. From here a message is a record. Somebody will read it later, possibly a stranger deciding who is right, and they will read the tone as evidence whether or not that is fair.
The gap that matters here is between what you feel and what is arguable. Feeling cheated is not arguable. A listing that said one thing and a parcel that contained another is arguable. Almost every strong version on these eight pages is the weak version with the unarguable half deleted.
| What you feel | What is arguable |
|---|---|
| This vendor has robbed me | The order was for a stated quantity and what arrived was less |
| They are ignoring me on purpose | Three messages sent on stated dates, no reply to any |
| This is obviously a scam | The listing description and what arrived do not match in a stated way |
| I have been treated badly | A specific thing was promised on a specific date and did not happen |
The refusals
Two pages in this stage are not complaints at all. They are refusals, and they work differently from everything else on the site. Refusing to pay outside escrow and refusing to release funds early both have the same counterintuitive rule: do not explain.
An explanation is an opening. It tells the other side which objection to answer, and there is always an answer. A refusal that gives no reason cannot be argued with, only repeated at.
The ten minute rule
Writing the message and sending it are separate decisions. Write it while angry if that helps. Send it after reading it once more, on the basis of whether you would still send it tomorrow.
Where this goes next
If none of these messages resolves it, the next stage is formal and the audience changes. In a dispute covers writing for a third party who does not know either of you. What to leave out is the reference page that applies hardest here.