Nexus: what to write The wording of the messages a buyer has to compose

A reference site. Not the market, not connected to it, and it cannot pass a message to anybody.

Home Before you order While you wait When it goes wrong In a dispute Afterwards Every message Addresses The skeleton What to leave out Timing Questions
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Nexus market mirrors

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Published as supplied. Nothing here is monitored, so this is not a claim that any of them opens right now.

Saying nothing

Every other page here is about wording. This one is about the cases where the correct message has no words in it, which is more often than the rest of the site implies.

The ones not to send

The messageWhy silence beats it
A reply to anything claiming to be supportAny answer proves the account is live and attended
A second chase before the first is answeredResets you in the reader head and lands in the thread
An angry message you will send anyway tomorrowTomorrow you will send a better one
An explanation of why you refused somethingThe refusal was complete. The explanation is arguable
A follow up asking what came of a reportNothing you will see, and asking marks you
A last word after a dispute closesIt is on the record and it changes nothing

How to tell in advance

  1. What would a reply change. If nothing, that is your answer.
  2. Would you send it in the morning. If not, it is a message about how you feel.
  3. Who else reads this later. Arbitrators read threads from the top.
  4. Does it tell somebody something about me. Especially that you are stuck, holding funds, or new.
What people sendexample written for this site
Quoting: the version most people send

I know you are probably not real but just so you know I am not falling for it, I know how these things work.

What to sendexample written for this site
Quoting: the version that works better

The strong version is deliberately empty. The weak one is satisfying to write and does three things for the other side at once: it confirms a live account, it confirms you are in the state they were looking for, and it tells them which approach to change next time. Blocking without a word costs you nothing and gives away nothing.

Where this does not apply

Inside a dispute. There, silence is weighed against whoever produced it, and going quiet because you are annoyed is read the same as going quiet because you have nothing. Answer promptly and briefly for as long as it runs, and save the silence for outside the process.

The message you will send tomorrow anyway

Write it, save it, and look at it in the morning. Almost every angry message survives that test in a much shorter form, and the shorter form is usually better than anything you could have written calmly to begin with. Nothing about this costs you anything except the satisfaction of having sent it immediately.

Where silence is expensive

Inside a dispute, and only there. Going quiet mid process is weighed against whoever produced it, and it is easier to do by accident than people expect, usually because somebody is annoyed or busy rather than because they have nothing to say. Answer promptly and briefly for as long as it runs, and keep the silence for outside the process.

HomeAfterwardsSaying nothing

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